Amato does not acknowledge that bad relationships between parents may be the reason for both the separation and the cause of the damage. Pressure to stay together may result in more dysfunctional children in intact families. Why assume the separation is the cause of later problems? There are other causes. Amato himself says that economic stressors also cause breakdown; we may do better to focus on fixing financial inequality.

His research found some broad correlations between family types and some problems that emerge later, and then assumes family breakdown is the cause.

Certain research topics re-appear every few years and find funding easily. The damage to children caused by divorce is one such recurrent subject, and Amato is a serial publisher on the topic.

Some couples who’ve been planning to break up choose to avoid disrupting their families during the holidays. Others may be hoping that their situation or their partner’s behaviors will change, and when nothing shifts, they opt for dissolution, which at best is a sad thing.

The article also provides useful tips on how to brake the news to children and other family members:

If you have children, you need to break the news to them gently and slowly. A good place to start is to tell them that it is not their fault and that Dad and Mom will always be there and will always, and in all ways, love them. Some additional reassurance as to how their lives will not change is also highly recommended. Do your best to keep things as normal as possible.

If your child begins to act out by not doing well in school or by being more difficult than usual, I would advise that you at least get him or her to one counseling session for an evaluation. Some kids don’t show any signs of their inner struggles, and in all cases, you must talk with them about how they are feeling and dealing with the changes.

If you’re in need of divorce advice, call our office today for a consultation. There’s no obligation, so take advantage of this offer.